Overthinking 101: How to Stress About Things That Haven’t Happened Yet 🤯

You ever find yourself lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, replaying conversations from five years ago and wondering if you said “thank you” too aggressively? No? Just me? Well, buckle up, because today we’re diving deep into the fine art of overthinking — a skill I’ve mastered to Olympic levels.

Let’s start with the basics. Overthinking isn’t just a habit; it’s a lifestyle. It’s about taking a perfectly normal situation and stretching it out in your mind like chewing gum until you’re questioning your existence. For instance, I applied to move to the UK for work, and you’d think my biggest concern would be packing or saying goodbye to my family. Nope. My brain decided the real priority is worrying about things like:

“What if I get on the plane and forget how to breathe properly?”

“What if I say ‘thank you’ in Swahili instead of English and the British immigration officer thinks I’m casting a spell?”

“What if the UK weather is so cold that my bones start sending me hate mail?”

You see, overthinking isn’t about logic. It’s about taking every possible scenario — and some impossible ones — and turning them into a three-part Netflix docuseries in your head. Let me walk you through a typical overthinking session:

Step 1: Planting the Seed of Doubt

It always starts small. Maybe you check your email and see there’s no new message from AAHM Group. Most people would move on with their day. Not me. My brain grabs that silence and whispers:

“They probably found someone else. Someone who aced their NVQ Level 2 and didn’t spend 20 minutes trying to understand what ‘person-centered care’ meant.”

Suddenly, I’m spiraling. In my mind, AAHM Group has not only rejected me but also held a secret meeting where they laughed at my application while eating scones.

Step 2: The Domino Effect

Once the seed is planted, every thought leads to another catastrophe. It goes something like this:

No email = No job.

No job = No UK.

No UK = Dreams shattered.

Dreams shattered = Me, 85 years old, sitting on my porch, yelling at kids about how I almost moved to London but got ghosted.

Step 3: Preparing for the Worst

Now that I’ve convinced myself my life is over, it’s time to prepare for these imaginary disasters. I start rehearsing conversations I’ll never have:

“Excuse me, officer, I swear I know English. It’s just that my brain lagged.”

“No, I’m not lost. I’m just trying to figure out if this bus is taking me to my dreams or back to square one.”

I even Googled “how to survive in the UK if you accidentally become homeless.” Spoiler alert: The advice was basically “Don’t.”

Step 4: Calming Down (Briefly)

After a good hour of mentally ruining my life, I decide to calm myself down. Deep breaths. Positive affirmations. Maybe a snack. For a brief moment, I feel better. The world isn’t ending. I’ll be fine.

…Then my phone pings, and it’s just Safaricom reminding me about Bonga points. Cue the spiral again.

The Final Stage: Acceptance (Sort Of)

Eventually, I accept that I’m overthinking. I remind myself that life is unpredictable, and stressing about the future won’t change it. Plus, if I really mess up in the UK, I can always become a professional storyteller — I clearly have the imagination for it.

So, to anyone out there who’s overthinking their next big move, just know you’re not alone. Whether you’re stressing about job applications, visa approvals, or accidentally saying “Niaje” to a British police officer, we’re in this together.

And hey, if none of this works out, at least I’ll have enough overthinking material to write a bestselling book. Title? “How to Lose Sleep Over Things That Probably Won’t Happen.”

Until then… I’ll be here. Overthinking. As usual.