Why My Marriage Never Worked: A Story of Love, Ambition, and Lessons Learned 💔

At 19,yeah! you heard me right 19, I thought I had it all figured out. Love, marriage, a future that seemed bright. But by 24, I was signing off on the last chapter of a book that had more heartache than happiness. My marriage ended, leaving behind a trail of broken dreams, a beautiful daughter, and lessons that life slapped me with the hard way.

Looking back, I can pinpoint the cracks that led to the downfall of what should have been a lifetime partnership. And if there's one thing I've learned, it’s that love alone is never enough.

We Were Just Too Young

Love at 19 is reckless, passionate, and filled with fantasies of ‘forever.’ We were two kids who thought marriage was the ultimate destination, not realizing that it was just the beginning of a journey we weren’t prepared for. We were naive, thinking love would solve everything—money problems, emotional struggles, and our differences.

But reality hit fast. When you get married young, you don’t just grow together; sometimes, you grow apart. By the time I was 24, I had evolved into a man chasing big dreams, while she wanted a simple life. She wanted stability, a routine, a life where we made ends meet and were content. I wanted the world, and I refused to settle.

Poverty Was Our Uninvited Third Partner

They say money isn't everything, but when you have none, it becomes the only thing that matters. We lived in a constant state of struggle. Bills piling up, rent overdue, meals getting simpler and smaller each day. The stress of financial instability chipped away at whatever love we had left.

I remember nights we slept on empty stomachs, fights that started because there wasn’t enough money for basics, and the suffocating feeling of being stuck in a cycle we couldn’t break. Poverty has a way of turning people into versions of themselves they never expected. It breeds resentment, and soon, our marriage was more about survival than love.

Ambition vs. Contentment: The Great Divide

I have always been the kind of person who dreams big—too big, maybe. I refused to accept the life we were living. I wanted more. I wanted success, wealth, and a name that echoed beyond the walls of struggle. She, on the other hand, just wanted a quiet, steady life.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting simplicity, but when two people are pulling in opposite directions, the rope snaps. I started seeing her as a weight holding me back, and she saw me as a man who would never be satisfied. We no longer understood each other. My ambitions became my escape, and instead of fighting for our marriage, I started fighting for my dreams.

Toxicity Became Our Love Language

At first, we fought over money, then over priorities, and soon, we fought over everything. When love fades, bitterness takes its place. Words that should have been kind turned into knives. Silence that should have been peaceful became suffocating. We were both toxic in our own ways—me with my obsession for success, and her with her refusal to grow beyond what she knew.

I won’t lie. There were times I wondered if I was the villain. I left her alone with our daughter more times than I should have because I was out there chasing something she didn’t believe in. And yet, every time I tried to bring her along in my journey, she resisted. It became clear: we weren’t meant for the same life.

Depression and the Battle Within

Walking away from a marriage, especially when there’s a child involved, is not easy. I battled guilt, self-doubt, and the fear that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. Depression crept in like an uninvited guest, feeding on my regrets and insecurities.

I had nights where I questioned if I was worth anything at all. I had moments where I looked at my daughter and wondered if she would hate me one day for choosing my dreams over the stability of a two-parent home. And yet, deep down, I knew that staying in a toxic marriage would have been worse for all of us.

The Perfect Ending?

If you’re expecting a fairytale ending where I found someone new and lived happily ever after, that’s not this story. The real ending? Growth.

I learned that not all love stories are meant to last forever, and that’s okay. Some people come into your life to teach you, to shape you, to challenge you, and when their purpose is fulfilled, they leave.

My ex-wife and I were never meant to grow old together, but we were meant to teach each other lessons that would prepare us for the future. She taught me that love alone isn’t enough. I taught her that dreaming bigger isn’t a crime. And together, we created a daughter who will one day understand that sometimes, love means letting go.

What You Can Learn From This

1. Love isn’t enough – Compatibility, vision, and shared values matter more in the long run.

2. Poverty is a silent killer – Financial stability is important in any relationship.

3. Growing apart is real – You may start together, but if your paths don’t align, forcing it will only cause pain.

4. Toxicity is a cycle – If you don’t address the root problems, love turns into resentment.

5. Your happiness matters – Staying in a situation that drains you will never be the right choice.

So, to anyone reading this who feels trapped in a relationship that no longer serves them—know that walking away is not failure. Sometimes, it’s the only way to truly win.

I chose my dreams over my marriage, and though the journey has been tough, I do not regret it. Because in the end, a man without dreams is already dead. And I am still alive, still learning, still fighting for the future I believe in.